I have a secret life
that even I don't know about yet.



Secret Life of Charles reznikoff part 1

Charles used to walk around New York city late at night. These days when I think about that I get a little scared. I think if I walk out there at night I will get attacked, and I don't mind being attacked, but it is nice to not be attacked. Charles was a sensor. He moved through the city logically digesting the variety of input he encountered. I think just about all of Charles life is sort of a secret. He had a very jovial voice. The kind that may be used as a voice for a cartoon mouse. He had a happy kind of chuckle, and he just beamed kindness. I look at Charles as a collector and a transcriber. He spent much of his life studying and being involved with law. He transcribed court cases into poems in testimony and transcribed journals into poems in Holocaust. his short poems are like the urban hiaku. When I think about his lines, I imagine a flock of bulbs surrounding a excavation. but I cannot recall how charles worded it to make it a visual memory for me. Even though I never seen that. I even return to it, like a memory from my distance. Charles. I will continue on you more in depth. Charles, witness. He knew how important it was to witness at all times. Even in daily life. This is part one of a few. Charles I will return to you soon. Charlie. The captin of the mighty ducks. Reznikoff is a kettle that whistles and continues to whistle. I lean in to the whistling, I hear short phrases without metrognomes. I once saw a picture of charles on a bus with bill carlos williams. he and bill we on the bus looking at a broadsheet. They both had wives there. There were three other people on the bus. It may have been a trolly. They looked so happy. Happy Charles reznikoff day, for no reason. this is charles reznikoff week. and on this blog we will celebrate by exploring him more in depth, as a person writing.

Of course, this will be done with a cinematic eye, because I cannot move off from my hollyroots.


secret about banking in hollywood

Mind you I haven't seen the international or the bank job. But, I have noticed alot of banks in american movies these days. They are not prominently placed. But in Yes Man and the upcoming Drag Me Two Hell the protagonists are both laongiving bankers. In one of these movies jim carey gets promoted to ceo or something for agreeing to all loans. In the other a nameless lady gets dragged to hell for turning someone down on loans. Man. Complex time to be a banker in hollywood.


secrets of multitasking

I would never talk about it in my real life, because that is part of the mystique; but I really love doing a number of things and keeping incredibly busy. I am addicted to the action of daily life. And my days are full. Sometimes I get very tired, but it works out well. I am grooming a great life. One very important aspect of doing this is not wasting time talking about it. That is why it is our secret.

New screenplay by Ken Baumann, coming soon, big money. Pumping the pumpers over here. Awesomeness extreme. Yesterday I was watching Jumanji and an ad for the secret lives of teenagers came on. There I was holding a baby.

I met Robin Williams, I was little and he was doing Patch Adams at the time. He told me to keep working hard. I believed him. I still do.

Secrets of LA basketball

I know a secret. It is that the LA Lakers won a game seven basketball game. Go Lake show. Shh. Kobe is shy, so don't spread it around.


secrets of the modern poets #2 - ezra pound loves having two wives

Everybody know Ezra Pound played the bassoon. That's because Ezra Pound was the first blogger. He was a blogger that used other people's publications to document his life.

His romantic life was out of the tabloids. Olga Rudge and Dorthy Shakespear. Both of them. To the end.

He was fire in public, like gary busey. He would fence with his cane walking down the street. And made frequent scenes while reading poems to Wyndam Lewis and others at restauraunts. One bistro actually had a folding wall they would pull in around the writers table to keep the rest of the eating people at ease.

Pound was a control freak, a grab the wheel type. He helped bring up many of the figureheads of modernism, and liked to think he had a part in so many more. Toward the end of his life he became a cover band. Charles Olson comments on his change in the notes he wrote while visiting pound in St. Liz's. As Pound repeats CHAW CUT PLUG to the gaurd there Olson describes it as, "the poet making sounds, trying to see if they warmed his ear. But it was the fascist too, as snob, classing the gaurd." Pound began to use the pretty past of poetics to mask an increasingly agitated view on people, but mostly american and jewish people.

When pound was young he was going to a party one night, and before he got there people at the party were saying, "ezra pound the jew is coming." and when he got there he heard of the things that had been said. I always imagined this had some effect on his later antisemitism.

When I was younger and I found out about Pound's 'double-cross' on america it made me want to stick by america for the rest of my life. I told myself, don't worry america, you will get your due. Pound made a mistake about you. I believe in your great dingy."

secrets about modernist poets #1

When TS Eliot was little he used to go through the fence behind his house and walk the halls of the girls school behind his house in St louis. When he graduated high school he was sent to milton academy by his parents.

Stearns family life was rigid and oppresive. He had a big family. I think he loved his mother alot, but felt she was often too busy. Eliot loved the rigidity of schools. It was this systematic lifestyle that lead him to banking and eventually to catholic life.

It seems Eliot's family had an indirect effect on his literary life. I don't know if he would have become as important if his father wasn't vaugely a philanthropist.

Don't forget Tom also married up, and seemed to always have his eye on some prize. I wonder if some of those poems weren't frustrated outbursts on the systems that organize him to the margins. He could of just been addicted to the research he started as a child, watching his religous family move room to room. He had such terrible attempts at marraige, but I guess that is always common.

the backpack secret is kept in a part of the world I will not travel towards

I don't care what is in that direction. I'm not going.

A train rattles the house as it passes. There are four cars. Right now I imagine an animal is sleeping on the backpack.

It was pawned by the person I don't talk to anymore and I like to think it is better of on it's own.

I hear a bicycle riding in a circle in my driveway. I use a mirror and crouch below the window.

I hear a voice that sounds like mine coming from the tv. That always makes me nervous and proud.

I am working hard. So calm down. I will be out in a bit.

I miss the vultures above the red rock. I burst from inside a vulture in mid air and land where I am right now.

under my pillow

The way bees are born is cool. I don't watch tv as much anymore. There is a bottle of nesquick next to the computer. It isn't mine. I wonder who brought this here.

I had a bottle of water while walking down the street today. It was really tasty.

I believe in blogging as an artform, just as much as daily life is one. I live to recreate daily life.

secret map #1

I have a map that I haven't shown anyone. It is my secret map. There are thirty one roads, a river, and an airport.


By the way

If I were harry potter, harry would be much more badass.

I just finished Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets

It is pretty damn good.

I walked through the town today. Some people carried a picnic table through the intersection. I helped. I felt like I was Harry Potter helping his brother from the demeantors.

I have a friend who had a rough night last night. He didn't feel like driving. Now that I think about it the Harry Potter thing to do would of been to fly him home in my car.

I tried calling him just now, but I got his voicemail.

I wonder if Harry ever finds money in his pockets. I found some money once in my life. It was a good time.

Now I am pretty busy with work, and I am working towards a nice chair. It will be yellow brocade with green trim. I look forward to this. It is my harry party throne.

who's in my fave five

This commercial was important for me because it made my audience realize that I look like Bob Saget. I like to watch it on youtube sometimes. I like when my 'girlfriend' comes in because I am so ready to go when she asks.

The dad in that commercial was very nice in real life. We went to the Harbinger Bar in the Commercial Concourse of LAX. He got sorta drunk and told me that in real life, I would be allowed to sleep with his daughter. Because I am a good guy, I'm quiet and sweet.

I went out to dinner with the daughter in the commercial. She wore a real short skirt. I walked into the pub and the host said, 'uhoh, you got a boner, holmes.' I wore it proudly.

Secrets about Mini Horses

My parents have a mini horse farm. When I was little I would ride the mini horses around our land. One of them was named Debrah. Debrah was four feet tall and chestnut brown. I used to eat nutella and dance on top of the mini horse riding around the fields.

When I would swim in our pond, Debrah would drink from the water.

When I was twelve my parents sold Debrah to an investment banker from New York. I ran up to the mini horse as he took her. 'Not Debrah!' He said, "Well no, this is not Debrah anymore. It's MidgePidge.'

I am little Kenny Baumann from Riding the 9,
and I am screaming, 'nooooo. not debrah.'
I run toward the pond.

I have a secret life

that even I don't know about yet.


Ode to Brownie Coop

I love watching your two episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger over and over and over and over.

Sometimes, when we are sitting on the couch together I think of you as Mullet Fingers in Hoot.
I like you better than Mullet Fingers.

I love Oasis and you know that Wonderwall is my favorite song.
When I listen to you signing it on your myspace page it's ten favorite songs all at once.

Someday I want to be on dancing with the stars and just read books on stage instead of dancing. I will light a vigil for you as I do this.

You know I want to marry Amy, it is no secret. But I second guessed when I saw you jumping over that chair on Jimmy Kimmel.

I am sorry about your appendix.
I am sorry you lost on dancing with the stars.
When I can't call you I watch your episodes of Hannah Montana and pretend to be Miley.