When TS Eliot was little he used to go through the fence behind his house and walk the halls of the girls school behind his house in St louis. When he graduated high school he was sent to milton academy by his parents.
Stearns family life was rigid and oppresive. He had a big family. I think he loved his mother alot, but felt she was often too busy. Eliot loved the rigidity of schools. It was this systematic lifestyle that lead him to banking and eventually to catholic life.
It seems Eliot's family had an indirect effect on his literary life. I don't know if he would have become as important if his father wasn't vaugely a philanthropist.
Don't forget Tom also married up, and seemed to always have his eye on some prize. I wonder if some of those poems weren't frustrated outbursts on the systems that organize him to the margins. He could of just been addicted to the research he started as a child, watching his religous family move room to room. He had such terrible attempts at marraige, but I guess that is always common.